Easier Life

So it has been a year since everything crazy last happened. I still cannot believe i went through such mess. Now life is a little better than before. I have a great job, great boyfriend, great education, and a great place to stay. Things with my family is really good and i seriously have everything that i have ever wanted. But having everything isn't always what will make you happy. So far since last year and the year before that and the year before that one, i am still struggling with my weight. Even when i have it all or if i don't my weight still sustains in the same ol' 225 pounds. It really has been very ridiculous that physically wise i haven't changed. I have a billions of reasons why i should lose those simple 60 pounds. I need to be healthier, i don't feel my best, i don't look my best, i want to be away from any diseases. Ugh! so much. I picture how my life would be if i would've just lose those tiny 60 pounds and believe me it looks great. i see myself more energized, less excuses, and more adventures. Sometimes i feel like i am hiding in a closet. I grew up overweight and i have always been overweight and as much as i tried and said that i will lose weight, i simply haven't. I cannot believe i will say this but i have literally tried it all. From pills to programs to counselors. It hasn't worked and it has gone way too long. I really need this to start working and i need to as soon as possible. i know that it takes time for me to see the results but i need to commit to this. I have been contradicting myself and even hurting people because i can't commit to it. This has gone way too long. I hate the fact that i am saying this now and then go grab chocolate, a frappaccino, or a candy the next few hours. Somethings gotta change and this change needs to start NOW. i am TIRED of it and i have said it before and before that time but what can i do when i say things and haven't dome anything about it? I do something about it. Life will only get harder if i keep on changing the date for my goal. This will change now!